Communication Strategies: It Takes Two to Tango! - Part
Two
By Patricia B. Kricos, Ph.D. - University of Florida,
Gainesville, Florida
Editor: When a person with hearing loss and a person with normal
hearing are conversing, it's important to observe some simple conventions
that can make the whole process a lot more enjoyable. Here with her
thoughts on this topic is Patricia B. Kricos.
This is part two of two parts.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Here's Part One
6. Try to determine the source of your difficulty
Listener: Practice analyzing WHY you are having difficulties with a
particular talker, then make specific requests, politely of course. Does
she have a soft voice? Rather than saying, "Say again?" try asking her to
"speak a little bit louder please". Does he speak too fast? Ask him to
"please slow down a bit so my ears can keep up with what you are saying!"
If she has turned away from you while talking, don't say, "I didn't hear
you." Instead, use a specific request such as "Please face toward me when
you speak." If she is talking with her hand over her mouth, say "Could you
please put your hand down" instead of "I can't make out what you're
saying."
Communication partner: The best way to speak clearly for people with
hearing loss is to face them, speak a little bit more slowly, a little bit
more loudly, and with natural voice intonation, not a monotone. Try not to
cover your mouth when you are talking, because that prevents your partner
from taking advantage of lip cues.
7. Verify what you think you heard
Listener: If you have the slightest doubt that you understood a message
correctly, confirm the details with the talker. It could save you some
embarrassment or complications later.
Communication partner: When giving directions, such as where and when
to meet for a meeting, ask your partner who has a hearing loss if she is
clear on the directions by saying something like, "Did that make sense?"
8. Accentuate the positive
Listener: Use positive words when you need help from your communication
partner, such as "Could you please speak a bit louder?" instead of "You're
going to have speak louder if you want me to understand you."
Communication partner: When the listener with a hearing loss asks you
to say something a little bit louder, take it as a compliment! It means
she really wants to understand what you are talking about.
9. Be assertive
Listener: Politely let your communication partner know what you need to
make the conversation flow more easily. At a group meeting, for example,
if everyone is talking at once, suggest that only one person at a time
talk. If you are on a conference call, suggest that each participant
identify himself or herself when they say something, such as "This is Pat.
I think we should have the fundraising event on a weekend."
Communication partner: If the person you are talking with indicates
that they have a hearing loss and need you to speak a bit louder or a bit
slower, try to accommodate their needs, but like Goldilocks and the
porridge, it needs to be "just right"; i.e., not too slow, not too fast;
not too loud, not too soft." The accommodations you make will enable the
conversation to flow more easily for both of you.
10. Listen with your eyes, not just your ears
Listener: Watch the speaker's face. Although less than 50% of the
English language is visible on the lips, you can still get a great deal of
help by picking up visual cues on the speaker's face. Did the speaker say,
"I need to go home"? Or was it "I need a phone"? Watch the person's face
and you will probably figure it out because "home" and "phone" look
different on the lips. The speaker's facial expressions may also help you
understand what is being said.
Communication partner: The listener may benefit tremendously by being
able to watch your lips as you speak. Be sure to not cover your mouth with
your hands, a restaurant menu, etc., so that the visible features of
speech are available.
11. Sometimes it's okay to break the rules
Listener: Sure, your mother instructed you carefully in social rules,
like "Never interrupt", "Don't buck the line", and "Wait patiently until
it's your turn to speak." However, picture this scenario: you are at a
busy airport, waiting at the gate, and after a loudspeaker announcement
that you couldn't understand, half the people waiting with you start
running to another gate. Despite what your mother taught you, don't feel
that you must wait in the long line of people waiting to talk to the gate
agent. Simply go to the head of the line and say "Excuse me, I don't mean
to break into the line but I could not hear the announcement that was just
made and wonder if you could repeat it for me so I don't miss my
connection."
Communication partner: It's important to understand that what may seem
like rudeness on the part of your friend or family member is simply an
effort to let you know as soon as possible that he is having communicating
difficulty. For example, if he stops you in the middle of your description
of your recent trip to the Rockies, just to ask you to speak a little
slower, don't think of him as being impolite or not interested. Quite the
opposite, he may be indicating that he wants to hear about your travel
experiences but can understand your recount better when you use clearer
speech. So take it as a compliment, not as poor social skills.
12. Go easy on yourself
Listener: Be patient, with yourself, with your family and friends, and
with people you encounter throughout the day. Don't blame yourself or
others for your difficulties. Just keep trying to use the tips provided
here and stay positive, even when the going gets tough. Some days will be
more difficult than others but a cheerful attitude can work wonders for
getting through the tough times.
Communication partner: Keep reminding yourself that although it may be
difficult for you to converse with someone who has a hearing loss, it is
even a greater challenge for that person, given the many difficulties
encountered during a typical conversation. Be patient, use the
communication strategies outlined here, and appreciate your own good
hearing abilities.
